Indeed, there is no greater bond of human being than a holy matrimonial, the marriage! For years, not only in South Asia but all around the world marriage has been the bond between a Man and a Women until today. That is completely a different chapter of the marriage that i’ll not discuss as it does not apply in a society such as South Asian. Well, at least not in any legal ways where the bond is made official through legal partnerships.
Many people from other countries see marriages in South Asian countries as somthing that is always arranged but that is not the case. Looking from a historian perspective view, country specially India, from religion to tales … even what today used in Western Countries as the guide to love better known as ‘Kama Sutra’ all derieved from India. How can then people still think of this great countries to only have arrange marriage?
Years ago, there have been many marriages arranged and still are. Man nor Women are upset about it as they grew up seeing it as custom within their families. They say, real love comes in after marriage — it may not be same for others who take ‘love marriage’ as the bond! Love comes first for them, then the bond of marriage. Either way you see it, its about two people being happy with each other - be it intimate or other ways, one is always thinking of pleasing the other. Back to the arrange marriage, yes - it can not be denied that lots of marriages that are arranged has to do somthing with corrupted parents who are just looking forward to the dowery money while others are just worried of giving away dowery money.
My grand-mother (from my mother side) had arranged marriage at very early age (I believe 13) and since at this age - she was still a child, she did not leave her mother house until a few years later when she herself thought she was old enough to go and make a living with her husband. Okay, in this case there is nothing wrong I could see… I’ve heard of lots of funny stories from her about how she cried at the day of her wedding because she wanted to go to the big fair in the town instead of getting married so she climb up the tree and wouldn’t get down!
Now aside from all the humor in there, I really didn’t see anything wrong as she moved with her husband at an approprite age. On the contary, there are marriages that take place where the girls are veyr young. In Pakistan, Musharraf set a law regards to young marriages and the maximum dowery as well which it shall not exceed. Such law already exisited in India for very long time… take a look:
From CRC/C/93/Add.5 of 16 July 2003
201. [..] The age of capacity to contract a marriage is 18 years for a girl and 21 years for a boy, for all communities. The Child Marriage Restraint Act, 1929, defines a child as a person who, if a male, has not completed 21 years of age, and if a female, has not completed 18 years of age. Under Section 5 of this Act whoever performs, conducts or directs any child marriage shall be punishable with simple imprisonment up to three months and shall also be liable to fine, unless he proves that he had reason to believe that the marriage was not a child marriage. This uniform legislation is an effort to discourage child marriages under personal laws.
From CRC/C/28/Add. 10 of 7 July 1997
65. Family Law Child Marriage Restraint Act, 1926: Child means a person who if a male has not reached 21 years of age and, if a female, has not reached 18 years of age.As you can see, young marriage takes place because of arrangements between the bride and the grooms family. So going back to what I was originally talking about the love marriage — if you follow the trend in Bollywood (Indian) movies you’ll notice that almost every single of the film portays some sort of love affair.. and today more than half the movies produced in the industry (Bollywood) are just love stories. What are they trying to convey to the general public? Not to become gay and girls love boys, and boys love girls? I wonder all the time… is it because the writer knows of nothing but taking old love stories and turning them into a new modern ones? Whatever, let’s not get a headache about that either.Here is an interesting article I found about a 4yr old girl being married of to a 45 yrs old man… its so cruel, how can someone do such thing? Well, lets find out the full story: (AFP) 9 February 2007 DERA ISMAIL KHAN, Pakistan - A four-year old girl was married to a 45-year-old man in a remote Pakistan town to settle a feud, leading to the arrest of 12 people from two families, police said Friday.The bizarre marriage took place last month on the orders of a Punchayat or tribal council in northwestern Dera Ismail Khan town but police acted only last week after rights activist raised the alarm Police said they had taken into custody the accused from both the families involved in the affair as well as members of the punchayat and registered a case for violating law banning child marriage. The minor, Sumaira, was given in marriage to the middle-aged man, Mahboob Ahmed, as a punishment because the girl’s maternal uncle, Mohammad Farooq, had eloped with the adult niece of the bridegroom, police said. The punchayat imposed a fine of 150,000 rupees (2,500 dollars) on Farooq and ordered him to give a young girl from his family to Mahboob, police spokesman Malik Ramazan told AFP. “In order to meet demand of the punchayat, Farooq’s brother-in-law gave his four-year-old daughter in the marriage of Mahboob,” Ramazan said. The government of President Pervez Musharraf has moved recently to legislate tough measures to end oppressive customs, especially forced marriages and giving minor girls to resolve disputes in the rural areas.I mean come on, how cruel can you get? I am not even going to talk about other related stories that took place such as this… why punish the 4 year old girl? She is innocent for godsake….
Let me just get off this topic because I can just go on and on like non-stop broken record. To end my entry, such thing as love exist… some accept arrange marriage - to learn to love after, while other learn to love first then marriage — either is a way of bonding inseparable lovers. To all those are in love - don’t ever say it isn’t going to work, it does work all the time… its upto you to show your lover — when they are wrong, its okay — one day they will realise it, and if they are stubburn, its not your felt at all, you being punished for it is the punishment for being in love so say nothing to hurt them but take the pain in silent because you love them that’s why… as for the stubburn one, when they will realise it one day, they will know what they missed out and will come to you becuse at the end of the day, they do love you too.
Cheers.